My name is little Willie and I lead the Tory mob,
I face the future backwards, which I do not think is odd.
To see where I am going my genetics were recast,
and now my facial features have migrated to my arse.
My eyes and mouth, and other parts, have just a single place
with which to see the future come, one hole for all my face.
I see through what’s already there, I’m really full of it,
so Europe’s bad, and what I speak is singularly Brit.
That messenger’s a foreigner and therefore he is sad,
the message he is bringing must be very very bad—
and thus we denigrate the good ideas that he has brought,
so competitors acquire the efficiencies we sought.
The responsibility for this information lost
has to be the foreigners’—it never could be us—
and since we keep on losing, it must mean they all conspire,
so all that’s left for us to do is say each one’s a liar.