For reasons I’ve not really sussed, post that sent hundreds of kilometres across France takes days, but post from the same place that has to go an extra twenty kilometres into Luxembourg takes weeks. I’ve seen three days versus three weeks for the same product, from the same source, sent at the same time.

I think packets for Luxembourg are sent by TGV to the border, where they’re transferred to high speed donkey. I believe, unfortunately, the donkey’s getting old and lame. It certainly won some medals for speed in its youth, when it outpaced a fence, but it’s not been the same since it was wounded at Waterloo. That’s not the battle, I hasten to add, but the London train station. A ‘jocular’ fireman burnt a hole in its coat by throwing hot coals over the poor animal.