Limericks and Corks

There was a young lady from Venus
who rather liked having a Guinness:
as dark as hard rock
with foam at the top:
it reminded her of ... her Seamus.

A 'newspaper' editor said
"lets catch someone famous in bed
or pretend that we did
then blow off the lid.
Oh, damn, there's some shit on my head".

I'm sitting upon this 'ere train
with muzak feeding my brain -
a twang and a twiddle
about a tax fiddle -
somehow it isn't the same.

Twas ten years ago from this day
that our Maggie was heard to say
"first I'm selected
then I'm elected
and now the poor bastards will pay".
(I told you these were old!)

Hunt tea monthly

Hunt tedium tea, Assam, them all;
monthly dump tea in a straight hall,
order kin over, ordering them,
good 'uns get some tea, t'others, ginseng.