Guinness

Guinness was discovered
in the eleventh century
when Ireland
was off the coast of Africa.

The English were so jealous
of this Irish discovery
they sent a secret army
to paddle on the South side
and move the island north.

But for all their trickery,
and even invasion,
they never found the secret
of the Guinness brew
because, of course,
Guinness isn't brewed:
it is
(sorry about this)
mined.

Guinness is a hard rock,
rather like coal,
but when it contacts air
chemicals react
making a liquid.
The fossils are born again
as Guinness pigs,
and the occasional lump
is pressed into a disc:
a Guinness record.

Some people
have guessed the secret
and tried to mine Guinness
but,
foolishly,
they search underground
for a black liquid
so,
instead,
they find oil
which doesn't taste as nice,
but,
still,
it makes them rich.

Ah, Guinness.

I acknowledge the owners of trademarks.