image: north sea

I do have something of an embarrassing problem. It’s always had … well … let’s put it this way … I half expect one day to be approached by a gentleman from BP or somesuch to discuss an mutually beneficial arrangement given I seem to have more gas than the North Sea.

So, anyway, whilst travelling around the UK I spotted some over–the–counter anti–gas medicine. They are presented as tablets like those for stomach acid. I decided to try them.

Unfortunately, they did not get rid of the … erm … product, although they did reduce it by about 30%. However, they replaced something noisy but otherwise undetectable with something noisy and smelly. Bluntly, with these tablets, I stank the car, a hotel room and a reception area out. Without them, provided I can conceal certain windy sound effects, my opportunity to contribute to the North Sea production quota goes undetected. With them, whatever the noise, it’s obvious for anyone with a working nose and without a working nose peg that I’ve visited, up to half an hour after I’ve run away with embarrassment.

Waste neither time, money nor clothes pegs on these tablets.