Sister Hester's girlie dream
was not a swirling gown or glitter jewels,
but the biggest and bestest house
there ever was.

Every day at school in rugby class
or hobnail boot and stamping club
she dreamt the biggest and bestest house
there ever was.

There would be two hundred and ninety-three bathrooms
one for every cat she'd ever sat on
in the biggest and bestest house
there ever was.

So massive and humungously huge
the mouseholes will be dragonholes
in the biggest and bestest house
there ever was.

But Little Hester became Big Hester
and her children grew up to be accountants
she forgot the biggest and bestest house
there ever was.

And Big Hester became Granny Hester,
telling them all of naughty naughty boys,
she remembered the biggest and bestest house
there ever was.

And then a competition rose,
rename the town of "Rainie":
she thought of the biggest and bestest house
there ever was.

"Hester's House? No. Hester's Mansion?
Mmmm. Just manche. Yes, yes! Manche Hester!",
named after the biggest and bestest house
there never was.