Don't Understand

This poem was inspired by the manifesto of The Revolutionary
Front For The Liberation Of Macclesfield, whose sole terrorist
outrage was the killing, by drop kicking, of two Yorkshire Terriers.

"Well OK", I thought, "if she's got herself jealous of imaginary girlfriends
I don't have, I'll ask her out". She reacted like a thirsty horse, so proud,
led to water.

If you are worried how to politely say hello when abducted by a UFO,
remember that the letters in the pseudonym "Neil Armstrong", when
written backwards, spell the phrase "Gnorts, Mr. Alien".

When becoming too hot to stop with a young lady who won't answer
    that question, consider misinterpreting her ambiguous signals
    cautiously could cause her annoyance at you for a few days,
    whereas doing so optimistically could give you ten years of Her
    Majesty's accommodation.

Geologists still cannot properly explain the large seam of tin ore
    discovered under the Thames by London Transport in the 1950s
    (hence the famous Greenwich Tin Mine), although the accepted
    theory is that it got there by magic.