Sometimes people ask me what’s my religion.
As a Brit, this is a bit of a rude question, but given I no longer live in the UK, I can’t really complain. Oddly, despite its reputation, I wasn’t asked this when I visited the USA for my nieces’ weddings last year. I’ve been asked it occasionally over here instead.
Anyway, the answer I give is not what one might expect, but simply to say “I’m English”. Many so far has objected and says something like “no, not nationality, religion”. None of them have yet had the wit to ask me what I mean.
The UK is one of those countries that does not have a separation between church and state. Indeed, the sovereign is the head of the Church of England. Thus, by saying I’m English, I’m saying that.
Except I’m not. It is, of course, far more complicated. The English sovereign was accorded the title “defender of the faith” centuries ago, by the pope of the time. King Charles III inherited this title when he took the throne. However, he has always said that he would prefer to be called “defender of all faiths”—note the ‘s’. When he took the throne, he had the original oath amended so that he so swore.
Of course, His Majesty may be head of the Church of England, but the power is in practice held by the British Prime Minister. His role in other faiths is merely that of Head of State of the country which hosts their practictioners. However, as Head of State, he can be regarded as nominally being in charge of them, because he is nominally in charge of everything. I have no idea if he actually takes an interest in them, but I suspect, given his preferred title, that he does.
Thus my answer to the question of my religion refers to the British constitution. Because of the king’s preferred title, my answer becomes every religion, and so means nothing. My answer is, in effect, “fuck off”. It’s a polite and complex “fuck off” to the rudeness of being asked the question, but it’s a “fuck off” all the same. I have no intention of being dragged into an argument about whose got the biggest pixie, or, worse, a genuine argument about morals & ethics: I’ve had enough of dancing on pinheads. Anyway, if such a discussion really did get serious, which I very much doubt, I’d be able to move it to what is far safer ground for me, the unwritten British constitution.
So, there you have it. What is my religion? I’m English.