“Go to The Great Mountain Of The South”,
the boss man says.
“Where’s that?”,
the engineer replies.
“Well, er, to the South! It’s obvious.”
“I’ve not been there before.”
“No one’s been there before.
Walk south for a thousand miles
and you’re bound to see a lump on the horizon.
That’ll be The Great Mountain of the South.
They say it smokes; probably cheroots;
that’s the kind of thing a mountain ought to smoke.
Shouldn’t take you an hour.
Here, have a banana.”
“How do you know?”
“Hold a ruler up to the horizon
and measured the height of the church roof.
The sun shines on the number one.
It’s obvious.”
“Pah!”
“Don’t you Pah! me, little man.
I’ve a degree in art fart sociopath.
I know.
Now go.”
“Yes sir, yes sir,
thank you for the pay packet,
kind sir.”