I was subject to some rudeness while on holiday recently. I don’t think it was malicious, more the side effect of booze. Even so, it was unpleasent and unwelcome. I found myself revealing a privacy to shut the rudeness down. That worked.

Unfortunately, the rude person felt themself insulted to hear my private information, an ‘insult’ that would not have happened had they not been rude. Personally, I do not see how my private information was an insult to them—private information is private. Had they respected my privacy, they would not have imagined themself insulted. Thus their own bad behaviour was the cause of their imagined sleight.

from dublin

Of course, they don’t blame themself for their situation: that would require the kind of social awareness that would have prevented the situation arising in the first place.

So what was this private information? I might as well hint, given the rude person, who imagined themselves insulted because they were rude, seems to have decided the best way to respect privacy is to broadcast a lie resembling it.

I’ve always felt a commitment between two people is a private thing between those two people. Now, clearly, if there are consequences, such as a contract that may require some form of judgement on whether the agreement has been kept, then that agreement may also need the involvement of the state. So a commitment between two people may also be registered by the state. Hence the term registry office.

Now I fully understand why some people may wish to proclaim such a concord, and celebrate it. Many people want to tell the world they’ve made an agreement. Not everyone is like that, though. We both personally prefer that our private things remain private.

Thus if people wish to form an agreement amongst themselves and not tell me, I’m fine with that. Equally, if two people wish to form an agreement, and tell the world, and celebrate, then I’ll happily help them celebrate. It’s their choice, and I’ll not only respect their choice, I’ll support it. But I expect such respect in return.

This is why I do not understand why one person was deeply insulted because I am a private person. It’s as though, despite having known me all their life, they hadn’t actually noticed me. I don’t get it, but so be it.