my history
always has me
responding to invitations
and
incidentally
always has those responses
rejected
am i too slow
are those invitations
cancelled
when the girls find out more
i don’t know
but it was never
a nice experience
so
now
i have to turn this round
i think
do the inviting
do the rejecting
i’m old
i’ll be rejected
almost all the time
i can plan for that
though whether i can take it
i don’t know
i never could
which is why
then
i stopped inviting
myself
but that’s left me
in this disaster place
receipient of poisons
when all i sought was peace
sodding biology
but to start to make the invitations
you notice this plot is a defensive measure
to start to make the invitations
in a world where so many do so much so often
i have to plan and train myself
a project
i suppose
notice the excitement