Our wonderful new perfumes are prepared using homeopathic dilution techniques. We create perfumes that people cannot smell, indeed cannot detect, ensuring they have no idea that it’s you giving them suggestions. Wear our homeopathic perfumes to influence people without them, or anyone else, realising it.

image: with apologies to the crystal gifts store

eau de chien

Dogs are notoriously enthusiastic, loyal, friendly, protective, cuddly, silly, and sometimes rather too fond of legs, most of which are characteristics some people may wish to find when searching for a new partner.

So we set our special scent collecting robot to follow a particularly butch dog as it communicated the boundaries of its territory, as dogs do, and collected the chemical communication. Our superb and famous pharmacists took the samples gathered and used them to prepare the base for perhaps our greatest perfume yet. Using proprietary homeopathic techniques, we diluted our creation to make the perfect eau de chien.

Now if you’re going tor a social event where you hope to meet lots of new and interesting people, wear eau de chien to increase your changes of meeting a particularly special new person. Once you’ve found him, wear eau de chien to remind him that your legs are particularly interesting and to be associated with mounting.

eau des chaussettes âgées

Rugby players are notorious for heavy rough and tumble in the game, pounding up and down the grass pitch as they attempt to score. We took the socks of a very famous player immediately after they’d been used in a particularly sweaty yet victorious game, isolated and extracted the unique rugby aroma, and used it to create our most interesting perfume yet, eau des chaussettes âgées.

Wear eau des chaussettes âgées to remind the man in your life that, if he really wants to score, it’s not the rugby pitch that needs a good pounding.

eau de chat

Cats are élitist, independent, cuddly, calculating, silly, full of personality, never boring and rather fond of the occasional scrap, most of which are characteristics some people might wish to radiate when searching for a new partner.

So we set our special scent collecting robot followed an especially tom cat as it communicated the boundaries of its territory, as cats do, and collected the chemical communication. Our superb and famous pharmacists took the samples gathered and used them to prepare the base for our wonderful new perfume. Using proprietary homeopathic techniques, we diluted the scent we created to make our most amazing perfume, eau de chat.

When you’re going to a social event where you expect to meet lots of new and interesting people, wear eau de chat to increase your changes of meeting a particularly special new person. Once you’ve found him, wear eau de chat again to remind him that you’re ready for a jolly good scrap, and even more ready to be the spoils of his victory.