angst cycle (iii) 
[ξ] (i)
ok 
i have to admit 
in one area 
i’ve really lied
 
she picked up 
that i think 
she’s pretty crap 
at organising things
 
she organised me 
a public night of songbirds 
i travelled the seas 
and when i arrived 
and they were dead 
all dead
 
she’d not thought 
that one person’s promise 
the critical person on the critical path 
might not be kept
 
not organising backup 
an emergency plan
 
for that matter 
admiring other people’s incompetence 
is not the mark 
of an organiser
 
i’m not that hot 
i have the habit 
of 
when someone needs confidence 
letting myself depend on them 
putting their needs 
before the thing being organised
 
but i know the fault 
why do you think 
i rarely organise things
 
and yes 
profuse apologies 
were given and accepted
 
by if you don’t admit your errors 
you don’t learn from your mistakes
 
and if you don’t accept criticism 
then you don’t admit your errors
 
and if you tell other people off 
for their critical attitude 
it suggests 
you don’t accept their criticism
 
let the facts speak 
not me
 
the problem is inexperience 
accept it 
adapt to it
 
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