angst cycle (iii)
[O] (ii)

the comparison
goes further

yes
the death
you have the day or so
of cold numb shock
at loss

then the pain of mourning
an intense
continuous pain
that slowly fades
as time decoheres
the memory
the dead lose focus

the intensity
of the poison
compares

but
while there is contact
it doesn’t fade
it worsens

i can’t handle that amount of pain
once a point is reached
my animal took over
i just had to get away
find a rock
hide and heal

i’m still there
i’ll be here for time
at least
though
i’ve looked out
seen the sky

i think you now see why
i will never make the move
that leads to risk of poison
and why i so strongly resent
moves made promises made
and broken
leaving me this poison

i like to think
that simply
the other side
hasn’t got the wit
to understand
the pain she’s caused

what’s particularly annoying
is i don’t want to respond
i don’t want to be lead
but i am
against my own judgement
i haven’t got the wit
to know
what’s happening to me

that’s why
ascribing blame
directing anger
is stupidity

half the anger
should be inward looking
half perhaps out
and all
all
to evolution
or God
or whatever you believe
made the mess
a certainty